


Say Something

by AnaliseGrey



Series: Cap Sandwich 'verse [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ace!Bucky, Asexual Character, BDSM, BDSM AU, Clint is mentioned but isn't actually in this story, Dom!Steve, M/M, Multi, Soft!Bucky, Steve is a good and loving dom, Sub!Bucky, and you can't convince me otherwise, discussion however brief of sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:42:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaliseGrey/pseuds/AnaliseGrey
Summary: Bucky has some doubts about his relationship with Steve and Clint, and Steve helps to sort it out.





	Say Something

“Stevie, I’m not sure this is gonna work.”

Steve looked up from the doodles he’d been doing in his sketchbook as a warm up, and over to Bucky who was huddled into the corner of their superhero-sized couch, adamantly not looking at Steve. He was having what Steve always thought of to himself as a ‘soft Bucky’ day, where Bucky would wear fuzzy and worn flannels, over-sized hoodies and the like. His hair was fluffed from where it had dried after his shower, and was floating around his face, covering it like a curtain.

“What’s not gonna work, Buck?”

Bucky made a sweeping gesture with his right hand, frayed hoodie sleeve flopping around with the movement. “This. Us. Things.”

Steve paused a moment, then closed his sketchbook and set it aside, turning to face Bucky, giving him his complete attention, and worked to keep his voice even.

“You’re gonna to have to be a bit more specific than that. Is there something in particular bothering you? You know I don’t wanna push you, but am I not paying enough attention to you? Is Clint bothering you at all, or…”

“No!” Bucky paused, seeming surprised by his own outburst, and turned slightly towards Steve, brushing some of the fall of hair behind his ear. “No,” he said more quietly. “It’s not Clint. And you’re not doing anything wrong, either, Stevie, it’s...it’s just me.”

“Is it ok if I touch you?”

Bucky looked over at Steve, confusion crinkling his face. “What? Of course it is.”

Steve scooted closer to Bucky, pressing himself up against Bucky’s side and draped an arm around Bucky’s shoulders to tug him over so that Bucky was leaning against him instead of the arm of the couch.

“I hope you understand that when you tell me you don’t think this is gonna work, I’m not gonna assume it’s ok to just touch you.”

Bucky made a frustrated noise from behind his hair and wriggled, trying to push himself closer to Steve’s side. Steve waited him out, having gotten used to Bucky taking his time to find his words. They still came a bit slower to him than it used to, and sometimes the words wouldn’t come at all, or weren’t in English, but they were working on it. The three of them knew how important communication was, especially if their triad was going to work. It hurt Steve a little that he hadn’t seen this coming; or no, that wasn’t quite right. He’d always assumed Bucky might have some difficulty adjusting back, and he’d been making faster progress than Steve had dared to hope for, but he’d always thought that if there was going to be a problem, he’d notice it. Everything had seemed to be going well- Clint and Bucky had hit it off magnificently, finding shared background in the former brainwashed assassins club, but also seemed to really enjoy each other’s company. They also, much to Steve’s chagrin, enjoyed teaming up to mother hen the living hell out of him, though in his heart-of-hearts, he enjoyed it immensely.

When Bucky spoke again it was quiet, rough with the gravelly quality his voice sometimes had now. “I’m not…I can’t be what you need, Stevie. I can’t give you what I used to.”

Brow furrowed, Steve tried to parse out what Bucky could be talking about. He’d gotten Bucky down multiple times since his return, he’d thought the drops had gone pretty well. Even with Clint in the room, Bucky had seemed relaxed, and he’d dropped like a stone through still waters. Everyone had seemed pretty happy after.

“I’m not sure I follow, Buck, what is it you think I need that you can’t give me?”

Another frustrated growl, and Bucky hunched into himself a little, like a turtle trying to duck into its shell, and from what Steve could see of Bucky’s face, he…was he _blushing_?

“Goddamnit you’re going to make me spell it out. _Sex_ , Steve. I can’t…I don’t want sex.”

Steve paused, waiting to hear if there was more to Bucky’s argument, and when nothing more was forthcoming, Steve ventured, “Is that it?”

A beat, and then Bucky pushed away from Steve’s side to look up at him, face incredulous. “Is… _’is that it’_? How can you be so calm about this? I’m telling you I don’t wanna have sex with you, Steve, _my dominant_. I thought you’d be more upset by it.”

“Bucky,” Steve placed a gentle hand on Bucky’s metal arm and squeezed, “Is it that you don’t want sex with me specifically, or you don’t want sex with anyone?”

Bucky opened his mouth to answer, then paused, closing his mouth again with a look that said this whole conversation was not going at all as he’d expected.

“I…not with anyone, I don’t think. I still love you, Stevie, but I just…I can’t. It’s not you, you’re gorgeous, you know, and Clint is wonderful, but I can’t be what you need, and I don’t wanna hold you and Clint back or drag you down, and…”

Steve placed a hand over Bucky’s mouth to quiet him before he got any further, and then moved it under Bucky’s chin to tilt his head up until they were making eye contact. Bucky looked like he’d rather crawl under a rock and die than continue the conversation, but Steve held his eyes until he had Bucky’s full attention.

“I want you to listen to me, Bucky Barnes. I want to be completely, explicitly clear, and I want to know that you’re hearing me and understanding what I say, because this is important, ok? Nod if you’re with me so far.”

Bucky nodded, his pupils blowing wide as Steve dropped to his dominant register, trying to be as earnest as he knew how.

“Have I ever, in the entire time we’ve known each other, caused you to think that the only thing I wanted or needed from you was sex?”

Steve could hear Bucky swallow, a dry ‘click’ noise; Bucky shook his head no.

“I need you to use your words, doll.”

Licking his lips, Bucky answered, “No, sir.”

“Have I ever pressured you to have sex you didn’t want?”

“No, sir.”

Steve let go of Bucky’s chin so that he could frame Bucky’s face with both hands, cupping his cheeks gently, and rubbing thumbs over Bucky’s cheekbones. Bucky’s eyes slid closed as he leaned into the touch, and Steve continued, though in a softer tone.

“Then please believe me when I tell you that being your dominant is about more than just sex, Bucky. I love you, all parts of you, and if sex isn’t something you want to give me, not just _can’t_ give me, but don’t _want_ to give me, then it’s not something I need from you. It’s off the table until you decide to put it back on. And if you don’t ever want to do that, it’s ok. I never want to take something from you that you don’t want to willingly give, doll. That’s not how this works.” Steve leaned forward to press a light kiss against Bucky’s forehead. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been clear about that, I know sometimes I fall into what we had before, thinking nothing’s changed, but a lot has changed. Neither of us is who we were back in the ‘40s, and I need to keep that a bit more in mind, I guess. I need you to do me a favor, though, can you do that?”

Bucky slitted his eyes open and looked up at Steve, nodding his assent. It looked like he was skimming the surface of subspace, not falling into a drop, but in the peaceful pools on top.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll tell me if there’s something you’re not comfortable with. And I promise to do the same with you. I think what we’ve got going is pretty great, and I’d like to keep giving it a try, if that’s alright with you. Can you use your words to answer me, doll, or are you too far down?”

“Yeah,” Bucky rasped out, “Yeah, I can do that. I just thought….I don’t want you going without, ya know?”

Steve smiled down at Bucky. “I promise you I’m not actually gonna shrivel up and die, Buck. When you’re all the way back up, the three of us are gonna sit and have a very detailed discussion about this. Did you know there’s checklists for this sorta thing now?”

Bucky blinked up at him, hands coming up to lightly catch at Steve’s wrists. “Checklists?”

Steve nodded, smile breaking into a grin. “Oh yeah. There’s checklists for all sorts of stuff nowadays. Lists about sex, lists about kink compatibility, lists about common interests, lists about food preferences and feeding protocols…”

Bucky groaned, leaning forward to press his face into Steve’s chest, and Steve brought his arms down and around him to hold Bucky close.

“Geez, Rogers, did you really find a way to introduce paperwork into this? Cause I gotta tell you, that is not at all appealing.”

As Bucky continued to grumble into Steve’s chest, Steve just smiled and held him tight.

**Author's Note:**

> I...am not pleased with the ending of this, but I got to the end, and was all 'welp, this is done' and just didn't know what to do, so hopefully it's not too abrupt.  
> Also wow, figuring out titles is the absolute worst, amiright?  
> This is in part based on personal experience with realizing I was ace, and the concerns it can bring about relationships.


End file.
